Will I be Able To Return....

tell me,

am i a good person?

i bet you will say no.

i wonder why...

is it because of that?

i know...

i already lost my way of life,

i'm once a happy and good child,

but now...

Look at me!

What is happening to me?

is this because of that thing?

that white and pure looking powder,

that thing give me so much fun,

i crave for more and more,

such a bright life this young girl have,

now she look so gloomy and weak,

no more cheerful laugh, no more pretty smile,

all that left is just a hollow body with no feeling at all,

will she be able to come back from that hell?

i'm losing my mind,

slowly, i'm losing my senses,

my memories fading,

my body shaking so much,

suddenly feeling alone,

wandering aimlessly,

hoping for some light that could lit my life back,

hoping for someone,

some that will take my hand,

and save me from this darkness....

What Is IT?

What is it?

what is it that make us change our view?

what is it that we see differently than other people?

what is it with the world that some people hate it so much?

What is it with the people, they intend to kill each other?

What is it with the politic, never have enough making their people suffered?

What is wrong with this world??

All of this is just wrong in the eye of people who look the world in other way...

feeling bored by all this stupid things....

never feel happy enough with all that happen...

wonder when all of the people will realise this?

Derita Merindu - Ahli Fiqir

Tajuk/Lirik Lagu: Derita Merindu
Artis/Penyanyi: Ahli Fiqir

(Rap)
Kau katakan cinta gunakan akal
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang menyangkal
Bagaimana nak kekal
Kau katakan cinta gunakan minda
Bila aku gunakan, kau yang tak percaya
Bagaimana nak bahagia

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu
Tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

(Rap)
Dan aku cuba sedaya upaya
Telah ku usaha dengan sepenuh jiwa
Bagaimana hendak ku lupa
bayangan wajahmu selalu di depan mata
harum baumu masih dapat ku hidu
Bagaimana ingin aku membencimu
Jikalau setiap hari merindu
Sekiranya derita merinduimu itu sebenarnya bahagia..
Aku pilih derita..

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

Mungkinkah esok atau lusa walau biarpun lama
Akan ku biar tiada ku tetap kan setia
Entah bila akan tiba sampai jua harimu yang sama
Esok seperti semalaman yang tak berubah

(Ulang) (2x)
Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula
Kaulah tanda tanya.. kau tiada titik noktah
Ku dibuai mimpi lena dikejut igau semula

(Rap)
Seandainya kau berada di depan mata
Mudah untuk aku berkata-kata
Supaya dapatku melihat seraut wajahmu
Walaupun belum tentu kau mahu bertemu
Apalagi memandangku
Setelah ku turutkan segala kemahuan kau mainkan perasaan
Begitu mudah kau ucapkan terimalah saja kenyataan..
Aku masih terkilan

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

(Rap)
Jika kau dapat memahami hati seorang perindu
Baru kau tahu derita hatiku
Jika suatu hari nanti giliran kau merindu
Baru kau ingat derita diriku
Segala yang berlaku bukan kemahuanku
Apa gunanya bahgia
Jikalau bahagia bersamamu hanyalah untuk sementara waktu
Aku pilih derita merinduimu

Maafmu tak bererti, kau mudah sesali
Berulang kali telah kau mungkiri
Manis mulut berjanji terpedaya lagi
Menanti biar terus didustai

Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa
Kaulah bahagia (bagiku)
Kaulah derita (bagimu)
Esok lusamu, tak ku kenal lagi engkau siapa

dreams....

When star  are hard to reach,

we thought to ourselves,

is dream also the sama with star?

then,

we think again,

nothing will be possible,

if we work hard for our dream....

For my frenz...

this poem is for a fren of my... 

this is for you tela.... 

the poem you wanted...

CRAZY FEELING

Heart fluttering.

thiz love-hate feeling,

making me crazy over you, 

what this tingling feeling?

what's this sensation?

what's this feeling?

why I feel so burden by it,

why I feel so confused,

this make my mind swirl....

sometimes i wonder,

am I in love or..

am I just attracted?

I could not differ this feeling...

I tried to denied,

for I think its a foolish things,

but day by day,

night by night,

this heart aching for more...

Damn!

What wrong with me?

Why would this feeling go away?

I keeping my eyes to you...

and wondering as time goes by,

what are you to me?

Lover or crush?

Kekosongan...

Kekosongan sanubari..

merantai badan dan minda...

kebencian, kesedihan, kesunyian..

menyelaputi diri bak parasit...

merantai minda yang sudah diracuni...

puas ditepis kesedihan ini,

puas dibuang kesunyian ini,

namun...

semuanya sia-sia,

perasaan itu semakin melingkari,

menyesakkan jiwa,

tidak dapat bernafas...

Perasaan menyepi...

semakin menhilang...

jiwa semakin kosong..

emosi hilang bagaikan kabus..

hari ke hari, masa berlalu...

bayangan semakin menhilang,

ku rasakan hidupku..

seperti mayat hidup...

The rhythm of surrender by Dawud wharnsby Ali

Can you hear the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
The rhythm of the clapping of the thunder and the rain.
Can you see the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
The lightning and the leaves, and the seasons as they change.

Watch the children in the field, spinning round and round.
Watch their silly, dizzy falls upon the ground.
They grip on to long grass afraid of spinning with the sun.
Reality deceives them neath the smiling mask of fun.

Can you see the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
The rhythm of the children aging brown hair into gray.
Can you see the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
Alternation of the moon and the stars passing into day.

Watch the grown-ups all twirling with the clock throughout the day.
Watch them spinning with the hours while the clock hands tick away.
They talk and grip the world as they would catch a falling knife.
Reality deceives them neath the musing games of life.

Can you hear the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
The storm against the sand, and the pulsating waves.
Can you see the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
The rhythm of the children running wind upon the graves.

The rhythm of our world beats in surrender to Allah.
Our blood and our breathing testify.
The rhythm if surrender is a part of who we are.
With each heartbeat and involuntary blink of our eyes.
A part of us we cant deny.

Can you hear the rhythm of Allah’s creation?
The storm against the sand, and the pulsating waves.
Can you see the rhythm of Allah’s creation?

The rhythm of the children running wind upon the graves.

Love this song...

one of the best song of nasheed i ever heard...

Thiz Feeling....

I'm feeling lonely,

lost in the darkness

engulf in emptiness...

I'm feeling empty,

something is missing,

making an aching hole

in that small dark red heart..

I'm trying to understand...

I'm trying to find...

that emptiness feeling...

still linger like parasite sucking my life..

Still looking...

what's missing...

but still... in vain

This feeling..

eating me...

I bleed from inside out...

Aching...

Painful...

killing me softly...

digging me to death...

Help me!

please...

understand me!

someone...

Help me kill this feeling..

for all i want...

is just happiness...